What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

 

Fools’ Wonders

 

 

 

 

Everything happened within few seconds,

All pictures merged in streaking headlights,

Few seconds passed out and nothing,

My body was like a bullet,

It disobeyed me,

Devouring hungrily speed and rainy night,

Only one heart was beating,

It might have been mine,

It might have been hers,

I believed fools’ wonders and every religion,

Kissing her heavy eyelids,

I thought her wounds would heal,

For the first time I thought: ‘Love is salvation’,

In spite of my desperate faith,

She was serene and warm,

Covered in our blood,

Maybe that night love was under extinction,

Time stopped,

It played along with us,

I imagined myself far from here,

At home,

In her arms,

A primitive human joy,

It meant a queen size TV,

We were lying in bed,

Watching Hollywood actors,

Telling violent love stories,

But the bar must be set high,

Or human life has no interest,

The virtuous circle had to be broken,

We did it while others tried,

Teasing our sick imagination,

It had been stalking,

Our problem was our vision,

We saw the world in a different light,

 Like no one we moved forward,

 We thought it out,

We painted the world using colors,

Only the ones we loved,

Now colors were dark and dirty,

Maybe they wanted to kill me too,

I didn’t care,

Life didn’t matter,

She was my thread,

I shipwrecked in dreams about her,

I squeezed out the last drop of joy,

I put it into her heart,

It was too dead to move,

Happiness came to an end,

It’s painful to realize,

No happiness remained for us,

It is naïve to believe,

We can be gods too,

Bringing the dead back to life is a divine act,

I couldn’t reach Him,

 I didn’t have His galactic knowledge,

God was very busy that night,

I was a mourning human,

My strength had human limits.

 

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

The Jokes of The Hanged Man

 

 

 

 

Before I met her I didn’t know,

She would grow into my pain

Before I met her I didn’t know,

Life equaled love,

Love equaled loss,

I didn’t know the obvious things,

Such as the East and the West loved the same sun,

 

And the same rain,

I felt I was a sport car,

My racing engine was high on octane,

I cost a lot of money,

Such cars don’t live long,

But I wasn’t afraid of death,

I didn’t think of it,

I speeded up,

I knew where it was,

It was many light years away,

When we were born, we looked at the world,

It was already cruel and angry,

We made the first wish not knowing words,

We were impatient and hungry,

‘We don’t want the world of adults,

There everything is false,

Make our lives simple,

Give us a painless death,

You promised defeating the weak and the last,

So far we hadn’t felt it,

We’ve felt only anger,

 We are your toys,

Right?’

Sometimes it seemed I had no soul,

Sometimes it ached proving I had,

We were beyond goodness and evil,

We hurried to live,

As if no much time left on our suicidal hands,

Our faces were happy,

It caused the envy of gods,

We didn’t invent happy reasons,

Speed was invented,

They gave it away, we took it,

Gods outwitted us,

I asked her a simple question,

‘What are lights saying to us?’

It was my fatal mistake,

She looked around seeing nothing,

‘The lights are blushing. They are in love’,

They said nothing about a fire truck,

The best things in life end very quickly,

The worst things love lasting for years,

Everything swung,

Everything blurred,

Everything got shaky and vague,

I read ‘good-bye’,

Her golden curls said,

Running away in the rain.

 

 

 

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

 

The Circle of Hell

 

 

Finally it calmed down,

Fast flowing rivers run dry very fast,

She had no idea where to go,

I was in another room,

The moon and shadows wildly entwined,

She had to survive till morning,

In the morning all would come out being dressed up in light,

She would clearly see someone,

An unwinding thread would lead her,

To the labyrinth of his heart,

Before I met her, I fell in love,

She did the same I guess,

Being in love we re-invented our loves,

Composing better versions of them and re-inventing ourselves,

 We tried to reward them with being ideal,

To give away whatever we had,

To become their dreams,

To dissolve and disappear,

We failed every time,

It was very important for us,

To stay whatever we were,

Like our partner we were both evil and kind,

I had a lot of empty spaces,

When I met her,

She played with chance,

She replaced pain,

I stopped to suffer,

She didn’t stop there,

She claimed air in my lungs,

As if she knew something,

She voiced the first thing that invaded my mind,

‘Love is a magical circle,

Only two people can be involved,

Insiders forever stay outside,

I am the beginning,

You are the end,

One day they will meet each other,

A bomb timer will tick predicting bloodshed,

Counting our seconds together’,

‘How much does love cost?

I can buy it,

I can afford to be loved’,

‘Love strongly depends on luck,

You may buy love paying love,

If you are lucky enough,

You may buy love paying death,

If luck is gone, then it leaves no trace’,

Our journey was meant to end there,

We still didn’t reveal the end,

We didn’t let them know,

The end of our story,

Our story was well-protected,

As they kept their happy mind-set in the safe,

We kept ours in a vault,

So that the escape would be easy.

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

Not Purr But Scream

 

 

 

Her life appeared to be a cartoon love story,

Every schoolgirl wanted to live,

Any time a wind rose could wither,

Blowing sorrow,

The animated trivial beautiful plot rapidly changed,

Becoming a hardcore romance,

One usual winter evening,

A baby hysterically screamed,

Nobody could calm it down,

Exhausted green eyes looked at themselves,

She crawled into darkness to find some rest,

I was afraid,

 The screaming spell would never dissolve in winter haze,

A park was buried in show,

Snow crunched under her feet,

She made her way through darkness,

‘Home is much colder,

I am a useless woman,

Unable to settle down,

Maybe I don’t love it,

Or I could calm it down,

I could protect it from being unloved’,

‘How was your walk?’

My voice sounded boring,

It was an unusual talk,

As if we were a wife and a husband,

Not understanding each other,

Distant and very tired,

Among the desolate walls,

To avoid any further fatigue,

She quickly changed the topic,

‘I want to fall asleep,

Don’t forget to feed the dog,

I love you much’,

It echoed quite ironic,

‘You always stay in the place,

It is very far,

I don’t understand with whom and where,

I don’t recognize the look in your eyes’,

‘Look into my eyes,

Tell me what you do see’,

‘I see unrestrained obsession and an unresisting body’,

‘You don’t imagine,

My life would be easy,

Without obsessions, snake hands and witchcraft’,

I didn’t want to look into her empty skies,

I knew,

She thought about the place,

Where the sun was rising,

But around her it was always dark,

‘Go to bed,

Dream something pretty,

Holding my hand in yours,

I have some work to do,

It’s three o’clock in the morning’,

It was my familiar caring voice,

‘It ripples the blanket,

It wrinkles the sheets,

Tree branches are touching the window,

They ran away and fled in disgust,

She always wanted to tell the truth,

She told the truth ‘Kill it. It doesn’t stop screaming’.

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

Happy Mind-Set

 

We had to survive there,

We had to learn how to fight,

It was a war,

 Without trenches, banners and armies,

Everyone fought for himself,

Everyone took time pills to live forever and fight,

They were organized in flocks and packs,

Carnivorous and harmless,

It was easier to gnaw loners’ throats,

Suspicious and selfish creatures,

They didn’t trust each other’s conscience,

Any time anyone could be betrayed,

Anyone could be torn to the tiniest pieces,

Even the one who yesterday fought for the same slice of cheese,

Next day the ally was discarded and cheated,

There everyone hated pain,

Therefore they hated us,

We spent like crazy,

Much more than their credit cards had,

More than we had made selling our pain,

There was no credit for us,

She never talked about after,

She thirstily talked about love,

Squandering our mythical fortune,

How would we live after?

We couldn’t afford afterwards,

We barely spoke about the future,

 All my attempts failed,

They stumbled into the look in her eyes,

There one’s dreams were another’s nightmares,

It was a barren place,

She hated to compromise,

All my attempts to hug the future hurt badly my bloodless arms,

They left deep scratches,

Like everyone she had her own stories,

She never told them,

Her stories had rope marks,

She hid them in a dark room,

The greenhouse of her demons,

They grew stronger night after night,

They were docile and submissive,

At night they talked to her,

I don’t know what,

Nobody understood the language of creaking stairs,

Sometimes she took them for a walk,

In a park or in the nearest forest,

She sat on the bench while demons were playing with birds,

She raised her funny eyebrows,

After a top to toe sweep she complimented her demons,

‘Look how handsome you are,

Sometimes I don’t believe you are mine,

You are so strong and spooky,

You are my hairy pretties’,

They only laughed in reply,

Horrible, good-natured creatures,

They were her swollen conscience,

They always healed her wounded pride,

I didn’t realize,

How well they were looked after,

How much they were worshiped.