What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

November Depression

 

 

 

No jealousy was supposed to lie between our hearts,

We reached a two-way consensus,

When a commitment is double-faced,

It’s always stronger,

It lasts,

Much longer than one-way commitment,

Our love had shunning nature,

It slammed the door on suspicion and lie,

We didn’t want to pay any ransom,

We didn’t believe in wide spreading love,

The statistics on happiness was pinned on the fridge door,

It was the end of the year,

        Do you feel it?

 Does it deadly disturb you?

It’s normal,

It happens,

Stay silent,

Don’t tell anyone,

It’s shame,

If it doesn’t happen to you,

Then your soul is missing something very important,

One cell and one sense,

Hide the uncut truth,

You’re a satisfied cripple,

It befalls every year,

Clockwise it happened to her,

It’s called November depression,

Autumn made a request for a refund,

It was her time,

Her heart and her soul blossomed,

She was able to talk on Fall forever,

Spitting the bile of her mind,

It’s time of our birth,

The world is at our feet,

It brims with faith,

We are full of strength,

As if failure didn’t exist,

She had a lonely soul,

It’s the loneliest one that I'd ever felt,

Though we didn’t resemble each other,

We fitted together like two perfect rhymes,

Dancing the fall rite,

Somebody brings a bouquet,

A ‘get well’ card, the warmest message,

When a bouquet is bigger than guilt,

Reminding that beauty will be lost soon,

It’s cruel,

Fall is a terminal illness,

For long hours she didn’t sleep,

Drinking hot tea in the kitchen,

She thought about something exclusively hers,

Torturing and ripping,

‘They fail to love for a long time,

They honestly try,

I know,

In the end they are always leaving,

I stay behind and cry,

It is the shortest distance,

From very high to very low’.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

Lilliputian Megapolis

 

 

 

They were in various stages of evolution,

They reeked of intrigues and whims,

Long time ago they answered right a grown-up question,

‘What do you want to be when you grow up, my kid?’

‘Dad, when I grow up, I will be a banker’,

Big money, big problems,

Their every day is the same,

Bankers don’t live a long life,

They are stuffed to the gills,

A banker’s life is a twenty four carat gold chain,

‘One day you’ll make me proud,

You are a smart young man,

No matter what happens,

Don’t be an artist,

Your every day will be hungry the same’,

When somebody asks himself a question,

‘What can I do all in all?’

‘In particular nothing,

The road to show business is open,

Get out of your shell’,

In her workspace they were football players,

It is a suggestive game,

Every pass is delight,

Every goal is penetration,

As to the rest they were her clients,

A client is always right,

Her clients were just a bit vainer than vain,

From the perspective of budget,

They were anything but small,

From the perspective of imagination,

They were a big fat ‘no’,

They knew where to find money,

It was the most difficult thing,

That’s why they feel to be more important,

Than Einstein, Gauguin and the Lord of the Ring,

Everyone can be taught,

How to dance and to be entertaining,

But how to find money,

It’s not for everyone,

From the fox trot point of view,

She talked and danced for the elite,

They were its majesty money,

They didn’t need to be anyone,

They were a lot of faces,

Post-processing blurred the film,

Cloudy thoughts,

Washed-out intentions,

Nobody wanted to be recognized,

Grown-ups played spy games,

If everyone who promised to love us kept their love word,

The Universe would be cleaner and bigger,

It would be pretty boring,

Love would be a boring sport,

So many of them were the past perfect,

They had existed and they had been gone,

As a gentleman and a romantic,

I couldn’t deprive her of my protection,

I might have loved,

Or I might not,

It’s my principles,

They don’t change for anything and anyone.

 

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

A Poor Memory For Faces

 

 

It wasn’t a man’s love for a woman,

It’s my love for anything flowing, moving,

For shareable joy,

We all strive to change other people,

Who wants them to be like us?

She strived to change me,

I strived to change her,

We try to change other people,

We want to keep them for us, 

As a happy completion of our world,

When somebody dances,

It means he is happy,

She danced always and all over the map,

In the subway, in trains, at bus stops,

Under psychotic billboards,

It made me to like her more every night,

I liked her in any sense,

Her life was endless dance,

It was pleasant to watch,

When I sat on the pavement,

I understood,

There was nothing real,

Everything was fake,

It was only a game,

She failed to remember faces,

She memorized people in motion,

He liked men that knew how to move,

The men that avoided being modern,

She really loved obsoleteness a lot,

She forgot traffic jams, yellow pages and the crowded subway,

She nagged ‘I quit’ now and then,

‘It’s only money,

They all care about,

I don’t care about them’,

Every work is about reward,

Money stays always the same,

She didn’t care about money,

But bonuses,

Bonuses were much better,

She could afford to be good,

She loved her workspace,

She wouldn’t have lied for money,

Simply she wouldn’t have told the truth,

She didn’t serve in the temple of justice,

She wasn’t the queen of barricades,

The right way of doing business was making profit out of something,

That she really loved a lot,

You have understood,

It was her opinion,

She didn’t love clients,

She loved to be herself,

It was her outlook,

Doing business was not doing time,

She could only dance and talk.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

Unconditional Conditions

 

‘Audience loves those that lose,

The majority is losers,

At first you let me sin,

Then I repent,

We call our war a truce,

Soliciting abusers,

I will be released on parole,

After I serve a happy life sentence,

This way you always stay kind,

Your prison is devious, smart and attractive,

When we don’t mind to be controlled,

It is the law of attraction,

When we let someone control our head,

We are in love,

I’ve understood your stratagem,

Though under conditions,

‘All’ is a relative notion’,

People need vivid emotions,

They need someone so that they can love,

They need to worry about something,

I lived a carefree life,

I rented a spacious five bedroom apartment,

Preposterous for my tiny needs,

When she moved in, I was indecisive,

‘She will suffocate me’,

I thought but I wasn’t afraid,

She did her best,

She was always filling with her theories all living space,

She left less room for worries,

Doubts and useless upset,

Though under conditions,

It is a relative notion,

A spacious five bedroom digs,

The flat became less empty,

We established a few house rules,

Respecting each others big needs,

Voice every erratic idea,

Abstain from critics and crack,

Look for yourself in the bedrooms,

Take care of your aura,

Do not allow in,

A single drop of common sense,

She invented her own air,

She was very good at it,

It could be walked,

It was always there,

It could become any,

She found the easiest way,

So that she could live.

Life is a relative notion,

Life was designed for a few,

Not everyone is destined to live,

Though under conditions,

It isn’t true,

She dreamt to live in Havana de Cuba,

I tried to understand,

Maybe she dreamt of the places that were sunny around the clock,

Maybe she chose the places that don’t need an entry visa,

So that one could live,

I think she dreamt of the places spotting the ocean,

Getting easily lost,

There was no need to solve the dilemma,

To stay or to go,

Before you go somewhere,

It’s unconditional,

You have to leave first.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

Let Me Sin  in Your Paradise

 

 

I had a cat and her,

At times I thought they didn’t differ,

It might have been bloody coke,

It was a hot cold war,

Declared by fate on me and her,

She was a she,

I was a soul stripper,

We both had missiles,

They were our true feelings,

We were racists,

Discriminating one word,

We avoid saying it,

You never know,

When life can go ballistic,

She was independent,

She chose her own direction and moved,

Her route was broken and curved,

Transits and stops helped her not to be boring,

Also she was never bored,

Her thoughts never asked for a warrant,

Her sense of humor was always cocked,

According to many it was terribly awful,

Laughter and smile saved our world,

The truth lovers are never many,

The truth lovers are always only,

It’s   loved by the one, who stands up and tells,

It’s loved by the truth co-thinkers,

Also it’s warmly accepted by those,

For whom it works,

You shouldn’t count on them,

They are the grey zone zombies,

Her principles were extreme and straightforward,

According to many they didn’t work,

They consider them to be abhorrent,

She was a single-action revolver,

Forgetting good manners,

When she was making black-eyed smoking holes,

When realism takes the place of letdown,

We get wiser, mature,

Life goes easy on us,

In our case cheating meant nothing,

It wasn’t even a word,

If hearts are not promised something,

No one cheats on the hearts,

We didn’t cheat on others,

Our hearts were in love,

Even strong people might break,

Sometimes she wondered,

‘How does it feel being kind?’

She loved to stroke my ego,

Pardoning me with an indulgence,

It was completely free of any charge,

‘I’ll let you sin, sinner,

Then I will forgive you,

I will be as kind as God,

God doesn’t remember faces,

You don’t need to love,

My love will be our shelter,

My love will be more than enough,

I will be an outsider,

You will love me and feel sorry,

I will be your only angel,

Ever forgiving and kind,

Shining in all my pitiful glory’.