What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

In The Chasm of The Lair

 

I remember all living spaces,

A hall, doors, staircase and rooms,

They were oversized and enormously spacious,

I don’t know what’s happened,

Everything looks so small,

Everything looks so lost,

 I used to breathe in this house,

I used to love in these rooms,

Now my breath sits on the couch,

You have been painting for years,

One couch and always two figures,

 Sitting together they never merge,

They think apart,

Two watercolor spirits,

Not sharing the same touch,

‘How would it feel if everything I died for was forever and ever gone?’

‘How can I make you to see all these things,

You decided long time ago,

You would never see them again,

Considering them to be artifacts’,

Pieces of ourselves have been caught,

In the web of an amber evening,

It did a lot of work,

Weaving one of a kind feelings,

An armada of time arrived,

And anchored in your lair,

Finally you can paint,

The emergency of two beloved,

Now you are prepared,

It isn’t important if you belong,

Somewhere or to somebody,

The most important thing is belonging to your self,

One day your self won’t be enough,

You will be without a home,

You have just realized,

Now you are living,

Without everything you used to believe,

 You would have died,

If you had lost it one day,

‘What are these boxes around?’

Boxes and pages are on the floor,

When will she come?

Which box will she open?

‘These are not boxes,

These are spacebars’,

It is the irony of our life,

No one prepares us,

For something that will never happen.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

 

Leave-Taking

 

 

I expect everything now,

It’s the only thing one can expect,

In a moment it might be ‘never’,

In two moments it might be ‘nothing’,

I’m waiting for ‘no’ fusion,

When out of ‘never’ and ‘nothing’,

Everything will come to life,

I learn to say ‘farewell’,

To ugly thoughts and ugly feelings,

Ugly actions and ugly beings,

Fool stops that I put,

To say nothing about scratchy beginnings,

The beginnings I never made,

Boarders and limits I drew with eyeliner,

Mapping my blanket head,

Millions of good nights,

They made me to feel mighty,

Good mornings I never said,

Songs that I stopped to listen,

Letters I didn’t write,

The hypothetical scripts in my morbid imagination,

In which ‘I love you’,

I shortened to ‘love’,

Wounds I kept fresh and attractive,

New wounds  I inflicted with joy,

Every time I said  ‘I can’t stand it’,

I lied in every word,

Because I could stand a lot,

Mistakes that I made,

Words I regretted,

Words that remained untold,

I wasn’t mad at you,

I’m always mad at your worries,

I don’t live to be sad anymore,

Smiles I forgot to give,

Doubts I kept for myself,

All their musts and my ‘I must not’,

All risks that I didn’t take,

Dreams that I didn’t dream,

Goals I never had,

The promises I trespassed,

Cups of coffee that I didn’t share,

 Every time I said ‘no’,

While I wanted to say ‘yes’,

This dream was huge,

It’s still enormous,

I learn to say good-bye,

To the moments you were insecure and absent,

I do my best but I can not wake up,

 A white ceiling is still there,

It stands in my way to the sun.

 

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

Two Mile Needles

 

 

 After the clock stopped,

My heart silenced and fell into your hands,

It didn’t fell on the floor,

The only touch I remember,

The sensation of two miles,

One thousand pieces of me,

Falling on something soft,

Isn’t it what we want?

When we are happily drunk,

Clothes and shoes are on,

We look for a bed or a coach,

We clinging to something soft,

We want to appease the hard,

We want to heal our hurt,

Holding a toxic head,

Protecting mind from collapse,

We hit snow white spring and lemon juice tonic,

In the kitchen of my heart,

Feelings became reactants,

Time booze, erased faces,

All facts became fragile,

What was the situation?

It’s an out of focus lie,

The photo frame was the same,

Pictures continued to change,

I got rebooted,

It failed,

The only luggage I had,

One way ticket and your strong arms,

And the road map of your hands,

I couldn’t hear for days,

I felt so slowed and chopped,

Like one million comment photos,

Like the biggest slice of your life,

Like a pinup on your wall,

Like a worm in the dead eye socket,

I did my best to wake up,

My dream was  pharaonic,

It lasted enormous few seconds,

They deleted intestines and eyes,

Leaving behind dim outlines,

Everything was gone,

Because everything was prosthetic,

Later somebody came in,

‘You’ is never the same person,

‘You are’ has ever been much more than one,

I’d never waited for him,

With an untainted heart,

With an untold mind,

You came and turned off lights.

Saying ‘Darkness fits you better’,

You took the best care,

Now my days have no lights,

Nights play without rules,

Nights play without thirds,

You’ve lent your arms tonight,

Night’s arms are two miles,

You know I am happy.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

Stab Yourself To Find Hope.

 

 

Some people own our real,

Some people own ‘I fantasize’,

I want you to own me,

You are the former,

You are the latter,

I am your lust name,

My tears are buttons,

On the chest of your shirt,

My first thought was,

‘I knew I would meet you’,

My second thought was,

‘I can’t love’,

My third thought was,

‘I can’t forget you’,

You are the king,

I am the queen,

Haven’t you seen a queen to be naked?

A queen is always dressed up,

Do you remember evenings?

We came here and talked for nights,

Love me the moments you whisper,

Humming the same words,

When you are loud, I’m scared,

That everything won’t be enough,

Do you remember you wandered the alleys?

Trying to kill a song in your head?

I wrote the same notes,

‘Looking for me at dawn,

You won’t be able to find me.

I won’t be here, my love’,

Do you remember when rain drops were stabbing?

It was human and humid,

But it didn’t rain,

I hit you with ‘I am not happy,

I’m leaving’,

You said the indifferent ‘fine’,

Do you remember I threatened?

‘If you leave now,

You’ll never be back’,

Sometimes I act like a donkey,

‘Over my dead body’, I added,

You never threatened,

You answered,

 ‘Don’t put this thought into my head’,

‘Tell me why you don’t answer,

Somebody else is on your mind,

Do you live the right moment?

With the wrong person,

Have you texted or called her?

No?

You did but her phone had died,

Is it the same feeling,

You loved to dream about when you were all alone?

‘People cry when they still have hope,

Yesterday I stopped,

There are things I don’t want you to know,

Playing with me you can’t win all the time’,

As long as I am the queen,

You are the king of mine,

You make me to say cruel things,

How many heartbeats will you count,

Before you can fall asleep?

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

 

Regret

 

 It’s how we were supposed to be,

We were meant or we were mean,

To be a perfect match,

Nevertheless when it happened,

The moon forgot to travel,

In the tracks of the starless night,

It’s shame,

It ended before it took place,

Everything started with chains,

Love walked the longest distance,

From the womb of my God to your Hades,

You were a towering tree,

At the mercy of your roots,

I was a white horse,

Tied to your veins singing blues,

You grew around objects,

Till nothing left in the end,

Then rabbit rain disappeared,

 In your magical top hat,

I saw you,

Through the cracks of your armor,

I was able to feel your heart,

When did it happen and where?

Where we don’t but they still exist,

They both were beautiful there,

Leave them in that place and time,

Now we come and go,

In the overcrowded smile,

 I ever bet on sure defeat,

Rusty whispers inhabit my oceans,

Empty eyes are conventional ghouls,

Existing only for sale,

I find them to look repulsive,

Everything hides behind you,

I see it in your eyes,

It’s worth to take any risk,

We have Dom Perignon love,

It fountains in our hearts,

We both know two reasons,

 I want to stay with you,

The rest is champagne bubbles,

Desperate like the edge of a cliff,

Stay with me,

Because I don’t care,

If I lose in the end,

Stay with me,

Because when I met you,

Death was committing suicide,

If we shared the true love,

There must   be another chance,

Don’t mind,

Another time,

Don’t mind,

Another try,

I started another life,

We bluetooth our present,

We bluestooth our past,

It’s the requiem in my arms,

I’ve just started to fake my first steps,

I’ve just started to do my first crimes,

It is the last remain,

I regret that I threw a tantrum,

It separated us.

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

I’ve Never Adopted Silence

 

 ‘One more time I’ll repeat myself,

You never lose your touch’,

‘You forgot to cut off my tongue,

You’ve never loosened your grip,

You have been squeezing my heart,

I used to love you a lot,

Now I don’t love you much,

I love you more than much,

It is much stronger than strong,

 I can’t stop feeling your touch’,

‘Female$ are unique pimples,

Spotting the face of the Earth,

Curvy ones think they are fatty,

Fat ones insist on wearing leggings,

Some love eating and drinking people’,

‘Every female pleads ‘Tell me a story,

Please, treat me to tales, my shiny knight’,

Don’t forget that I am under,

It’s home with a much better view,

Males are the only creatures,

That don’t like only to listen,

They buy tales the way they buy drinks,

They are the best at making them up,

Bon Appetit from me to you,

It’s not the end of the story,

Happiness made a return,

The silver horse came back,

The future became a successful remake,

Covered in silver dust,

The world couldn’t stop dancing,

To beauty of love and lust,

The scarred tree and the silver horse,

Have been living to love each other,

The last news the moon brought to me,

You won’t believe me,

Not,

They went for a walk together,

People in love make the same thoughts,

They make the same mistakes,

The tree broke, uprooted its own arms,

The horse broke the lead rope,

Before love could reach us,

It’s how it learnt to walk,

First it took helpless steps,

Then it took some rest,

Then it booked the first mile,

Then it made the longest journey,

When the moon paled the ocean path,

One night love walked overseas,

So that we were together’,

‘You’ve never lost your touch,

You are eloquent as usual’,

‘I threw away one thousand nights,

But the last one one thousand first,

I have been keeping for you,

It’s always at your service’.

 

PS. OMG, OMG, OMG!  Oh, My God!!! GOD ON STILTS!

I don't know whether I should be scared to death or to be enthusiastic to stilts.

The people born in the seventies are outstanding and instanding if it’s needed, in various ways. Though how does it happen that we don’t have a driving license yet? Because we drive bikes, I suppose.

For God’s sake take the best care...of stilts!!!