What The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

 

The Apocalypse Riders

 

 

Journalists did their research,

Spooky chronicles of the event,

We became shooting criminal stars,

Just for a while,

Till somebody somewhere killed someone else,

A creativity boom ruled our wigwam,

 Our artistry was in demand,

Nick shot and sold road disasters,

I never found them to be attractive,

He made a good deal,

Publishers surely did,

Snapshot were glamorous white and black photos,

They had everything people bought,

Real life, real death, fire, wind, horror, luck and rivers of tears,

The fangs of devil and the fingers of God,

Like a gaper I gazed at the crashes,

I was pushed around by rubbernecks,

I ran into something,

I knew it would happen,

A lethally crumpled car in a ditch,

And a copse of a guy nearby,

‘The car is exactly like yours,

Don’t publish it,

It is a bad sign’,

‘It is my best shot,

The shadows are awesome,

You don’t need to check his pulse,

To realize that the rider is clinically dead,

It allows you to see inside’,

A car skidded off the highway,

It failed to perform a tight turn,

A driver might turn a steering wheel too abruptly,

 He suddenly saw night falling before him,

 It had been going one hundred miles per life or even more,

I crashed my Porsche one thousands times,

It cost hundreds thousands dollars,

When I did it, I perfectly knew,

Don’t press too hard the brake,

Straightening up I had to calm down,

I should have let slush extinguish the speed,

Lazily slowing down,

But there was a stray tree or a pole,

Life is a donut,

It’s beautiful when it has a hole,

Right in the center,

I stuck in the middle,

My Porsche broke in half hugging the gallows,

Turning into a meat grinder,

Repair cost crazy money,

Money was not real,

It was a great car video game,

In real life everything was other way round,

I washed my hands but smell didn’t vanish,

It’s how a dead body smelt,

My brain memorized it,

It refused to forget it,

I was happy to have her, money and fame,

I was scared it would stay forever,

The indelible odor that told me,

That  life didn’t exist in the veins.

 

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

P.S. Dare Whatever You Feel

 

‘I didn’t kill her,

She was with you’,

A statistical average killer told statistical average lies,

I lost my mind,

I mercilessly kicked him,

His shirt was soaked with Laura’s blood,

I grabbed his neck,

Dragged him to the bathroom,

Threw him in the pool of blood,

He kept resisting but fighting,

 I felt incredibly sick,

 I was brutally kicked in my heart, 

I fell on my knees and drowned the floor in my vomit,

Till I found myself lost and handcuffed in the back of a car,

Just before silence puts a full stop,

It never gives us a warning,

It always makes deafening noise,

If only I was human,

Laura’s absence would leave me a scar,

I tried to spell ‘I don’t care’,

It must be pronounced with absence of feel,

Silence shatters us first,

Then  it shatters itself,

It didn’t break me though,

It stayed forgotten in ‘no’,

That used to expect only ‘yes’,

After long nights of interrogation,

Laura’s body and case ran cold,

I was released on compassionate grounds of guilty,

During my hard partying congestion,

All the evidence was destroyed,

I dared what I felt,

Finally I understood,

The truth of the world was on our faces,

It was our choices, actions and chances,

The moments I were empty,

Tears became luxury goods,

I didn’t cry anymore,

The moments I closed my eyes,

I became one of my obsessions,

My thoughts stayed in Paradise,

My memory’s postscriptum was,

Don’t forget to be forgetful,

My feet used to take the same steps,

An untaken one roamed the places,

There I had been myself,

When everything was quiet,

I listened to my pulse and breath,

I started to count backwards,

Two things I needed the most,

My pals didn’t blame me for Laura’s death,

She acted as if it didn’t happen,

 My bohemian gang was creative like hell,

We had shared the same nightmare,

Now it was over,

We continued to live a carefree life,

She continued to be supportive.

What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear

 

 

The Times When It Started

 

 

 

 

I woke up drenched in cold sweats,

I might moan in my sleep,

Several times Laura kissed my forehead,

She tried to tame my fears,

I had the dream of dreams,

I dreamt that Laura was dead,

She whispered,

 ‘It is a nightmare. It is a very bad dream’,

She was somewhere near,

Each time I opened my eyes,

The scene was exactly the same,

Her beautiful blonde hair was stringy,

It tangled with brains and the matted red,

Laura was hacked and mutilated,

Her face was disfigured,

The crumbled mess of her body,

Lied in a pool of blood,

Last night it was love,

Last morning it was death,

Despite death she looked insanely great,

I mumbled ‘It is a bad dream’,

I repeated it over and over,

Till I fell into a void,

Where it was only sleep,

There were no dreams,

In the chasm of oblivious darkness,

I returned to the prison of mind,

My empty head was empty,

 I could find no thoughts but empty sheets,

Laura might be in my soul,

She lived in my ink,

She died in my dreams,

I was reborn,

Almost myself with an awful hangover,

 I wished my ex broke up with her boyfriend,

I wished she moved in with me for a while,

She was so seductively godless,

I squeezed myself into something that somebody named ‘pants’,

To hide the essence of love,

Coming light through the blinds of a bedroom,

Dressed me in a prison striped shirt,

My morning stretching and yawning were interrupted,

I recognized the voice,

It was a scream of despair and horror,

I thundered down the hall,

She sat at the bathroom door,

Shaking and wailing,

Hysterically leaning against the wall,

One of the guests struggled to hug her,

She struggled to get free.

She was covered in blood and tears,

Murder was splashed all over the bathroom,

She wasn’t accustomed yet to the scene,

The smell of the first murder positive blood was something completely new,

It was last night Laura,

The one I had kissed whispering lust,

I predicted her death,

I failed as a messiah,

‘Where is he?’

I  kicked the doors down,

‘He did it,

A monster,

A jealous freak’. 

 

 

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

Irresistibly Beautiful

 

 

I loved to watch people dancing,

When they were loose and free,

When their heads were disconnected from their limbs,

Their  bodies had lives of their own,

When their minds could finally flee,

Her mind was engaged in its own freedom,

Her head never stopped to fly,

A tool of shifting was her moving body,

I  could not understand her ever,

I might be born the way,

The way she was born not,

There are moments,

There is no breath,

In the places with no breath,

Always there is  inspiration,

Inspiration dwells on the  tip,

It balances on the edge,

I closed my eyes and dreamt,

I saw big white birds with raven black wings,

They flied over the white-headed ocean,

Every bird flied to its own nest,

The place it could call a sweet home,

I appeared to be one of them,

 Though I wasn’t a member of their flock,

I had an endless trip home,

It took long months and longer weeks,

 Till I saw my nest on the horizon,

Till a bleak patch of the harsh icy land,

Exhaling horror and wrath,

Appeared and made passing night ships to spew the worst sea terrors,

I came to my senses,

It couldn’t happen,

Dreams didn’t tell the whole truth,

A flock of birds couldn’t fly to different places,

No need to fly,

 My tonight destination was near,

Laura was crying,

She had been drinking and smoking a lot,

I don’t know what came and possessed us,

I pulled her close to me,

I circled my arms around her waist and whispered, ‘Don’t cry. Just love. It is what you do the best’,

She was a true beauty,

It was the only thing my eyes could see,

‘You know I’m simply sad,

I have no reason to cry,’

‘Let’s go’,

We were in the empty room,

We closed the door,

Here we were unique and alone,

Love was the reason,

It was all set and done,

I overheard pace of her breath,

The world had just died on our planet,

It was only two of us,

No time left,

We had to be two lovers,

We found each other using our touch,

Darkness was our conscience,

We had to love,

At dawn it would be late,

 A cruel god would resurrect the human kind,

They didn’t know how to love,

It meant that they were worthless,

The only truth was someone was near,

Someone who needed my warmth,

I wanted to give warmth as a gift,

I wanted to have my share,

‘Take my warmth,

It is yours’.

What does the cat purr in your ear?

 

 

All Saints’ Day

 

On our  way down,

I whispered my complaint,

‘He may be a serial killer,

I still can’t believe you left me,

He wears the worst tie,

An accessory of a cave’,

‘Probably if you call me inviting me to your life,

I’ll do a lot of thinking,

And in the end I would surely come,

Even if I was married to a guy who wears  the most  hideous tie in the cave,

Of course, we will be together,

But with you it never lasts,

I wouldn’t stand all your heart moving urges and myriads of she-friends,

As opposed to you my guy is tied up’,

Laura was angrily hissing at me,

She probably  took it to heart,

She never buried the hatchet,

I hated her lack of good taste,

And her faithful and tied up schmuck,

Anarchy ruled the apartment,

It broke bottles and Nick’s iron rule,

She danced on the table,

The world was cruelly partying,

In one hand she had a flashlight,

Teasing loving each other couples,

In other hand she had a bottle,

She insisted that it was iced tea,

She poured the alleged tea into the bottle,

So that it didn’t spill when she danced,

Laura sat on the couch,

My ex argued with her caveman,

Providence said ‘Keep you distance’,

It was their business,

Not mine,

Party animals spilled into my den,

Flavored with marijuana,

Someone already broke out in a spontaneous dance,

Some hid behind curtain folds,

Having a drink they were weirdly quiet,

I made my way through the crowd,

I went to the kitchen to quench my thirst,

The spectacle was fantastic,

Armies of alcohol bottles among colorful homemade candles,

Were on the kitchen floor,

I always liked parties,

I observed attendees,

But who was alive?

Who was dead?

I couldn’t easily find my place there,

Till I got senselessly drunk,

I filled my abyss with whiskey,

I drank it in one gulp.

I fell in the armchair,

I loved to watch people,

When they broke out of being themselves.