What Does The Cat Purr In Your Ear?

 

P.S. Dare Whatever You Feel

 

‘I didn’t kill her,

She was with you’,

A statistical average killer told statistical average lies,

I lost my mind,

I mercilessly kicked him,

His shirt was soaked with Laura’s blood,

I grabbed his neck,

Dragged him to the bathroom,

Threw him in the pool of blood,

He kept resisting but fighting,

 I felt incredibly sick,

 I was brutally kicked in my heart, 

I fell on my knees and drowned the floor in my vomit,

Till I found myself lost and handcuffed in the back of a car,

Just before silence puts a full stop,

It never gives us a warning,

It always makes deafening noise,

If only I was human,

Laura’s absence would leave me a scar,

I tried to spell ‘I don’t care’,

It must be pronounced with absence of feel,

Silence shatters us first,

Then  it shatters itself,

It didn’t break me though,

It stayed forgotten in ‘no’,

That used to expect only ‘yes’,

After long nights of interrogation,

Laura’s body and case ran cold,

I was released on compassionate grounds of guilty,

During my hard partying congestion,

All the evidence was destroyed,

I dared what I felt,

Finally I understood,

The truth of the world was on our faces,

It was our choices, actions and chances,

The moments I were empty,

Tears became luxury goods,

I didn’t cry anymore,

The moments I closed my eyes,

I became one of my obsessions,

My thoughts stayed in Paradise,

My memory’s postscriptum was,

Don’t forget to be forgetful,

My feet used to take the same steps,

An untaken one roamed the places,

There I had been myself,

When everything was quiet,

I listened to my pulse and breath,

I started to count backwards,

Two things I needed the most,

My pals didn’t blame me for Laura’s death,

She acted as if it didn’t happen,

 My bohemian gang was creative like hell,

We had shared the same nightmare,

Now it was over,

We continued to live a carefree life,

She continued to be supportive.